Monday 29th August

Our penultimate day of the Tenerife Grand Tour featured a beach day that we knew wouldn’t happen, and the conquest of the Red Mountain on the sea front. We had another early start, and by ten o clock we’d set off for the mountain. It’s basically a miniature version of Roque Del Conde, from sea level to about 700 meters. We scaled it in about ninety minutes – the wind up the top was strong enough to rival the summit of Teide itself however.

The day was perhaps the windiest one of the whole experience – the waves were disintegrating before they even begun to smash into the sea cliffs. The tide swept back into El Medano’s shores as we headed back to the hotel after the climb – it flooded the entire bay, sweeping under deck chairs and sending huge waves up the sea wall, drenching unsuspecting passing tourists.

We headed back out to the ‘beach’ (what there was of it), and I refused to go to the place were at the day before (atop a glass-covered rock), so we headed down to the windy beach at the end. There, we were battered by a low-level sandstorm that penetrated our ears and noses. We lasted about thirty minutes, before realizing we were covered in a silt/sand substance that had stuck to our sun lotion.

We relocated to a giant glass-covered rock, where I made a genuine effort to get sunburnt. I succeeded – all down the back of my legs, a little on my chest, and all down my back… a little under my arms too. With the tan sorted, I headed back to the hotel about an hour earlier than Laura did and grabbed a shower. I blogged up to the present day, and chilled to Jimi Hendrix and Opeth until she came back. When she came back, she grabbed a shower too, and then we both went out for our final evening meal together about quarter past eight.

We walked around, but ironically found that the cheapest nice place to eat was the same chinese place we’d been at the night before. No sooner had we sat down, one of the waitresses told us that the cheap menu (three courses for seven euros) didn’t apply after half past eight – in other words, we missed it by two minutes. It was still cheaper than the neighbouring chinese restaurant though, which was the funny thing.

We had hot and sour soup with a spring roll each, and then I had beef and black bean sauce (token meal) while Laura went for the sweet and sour chicken. We shared egg fried rice. The meal was just as nice as the evening previous, although my sunburn was soon starting to affect me, prompting me to head straight back to the hotel after the meal for a rather sore night’s sleep.

As a side note, to conclude, I gave careful consideration to where El Medano sat on my ‘holiday list’. Put simply (and honestly) – El Medano is without a doubt the worst beach resort I have ever been to. For starters, all that ‘longest beach in Tenerife’ crap is at the most basic level ‘hypothetical’ – maybe it is when the tide is out (at midnight), but that’s no good to anyone wanting a tan. The broken glass everywhere makes the spare sand impossible to walk on, and also plain dangerous. The silt sandstorms make lying down on any sand pretty impossible as well. The people walking around getting splashed by the giant waves from the violent seas didn’t seem too happy about it either. So, do not go to El Medano under any circumstances if you fancy ‘doing’ Tenerife… unless of course you like cheap Chinese meals.


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